WARNING!!! New parents are likely to experience Score keeping, The Ten O'clock Shoulder Tap and the Clash of The Grannies... That is the beginning line of this awesome read called "Baby Proofing Your Marriage, How to Laugh More, Argue Less and Communicate Better as Your Family Grows". After 3 children, the last two being exactly one year apart, my marriage is on auto pilot.
Gone are the days when we actually liked each other. We rarely discuss anything besides our girls or food. We co-habitat and run a small nursery on the side. He brings in money and I do all the rest. I mourn the death of the life I wanted to get back to.
This book gives advice and shines a light on how many couples die after babies. It also adds some comic relief. With chapters titled "How'd We Get Here?" "Baby...Boom!" and "Ramping Up and Giving In", the authors Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O'Neil and Julia Stone do a great job of telling their stories without telling too much as well as offering ways to make things better if you have enough energy left to try. I'll take a lot from this book but I'll probably post this line somewhere in my house so that I can remember and repeat it throughout my stressful days with the kids, "The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances" -Martha Washington.
Admittedly I didn't EVER want three children and have had quite an ordeal trying to wrap my mind and body around the death of "my plan" and any hopes of having quiet me time anytime soon. And this book says it is 100% normal to have a period of grief. I wanted to be back to work and had things gone according to plan, my youngest, now my middle would be in daycare, I'd be complaining about the traffic during rush hour. Buying clothes and shoes, getting my hair and nails done, laughing over cocktails with my girlfriends (that last one is a stretch) At any rate I totally recommend this book to any couples trying to navigate through their marriage after the landmine of children has exploded. It may help you out if you're both open to giving it a try
Check out the authors website too!